let me sum up my current life
smoking weed, everyday. (people can’t even tell the difference between just smoked a bowl me and sober me. really nothing prescribed helped me chill and start to be okay with life ever, just made me a zombie. stop taking it and now i just smoke weed and can honestly say, i’m doing fucking great. Except for my soft spot for adderal…)
too much adderal on days when i need it (legally prescribed now to boot!)
delving into physics, to become a wizard of natural phenomenon (can we be serious, physics is so magical, its mathy musical magic. its the songs of the universe being revealed to us. clock work, perfect synchronizations to chaos. that’s what i want to be a part of. Unraveling it, manipulating it, being a wizard!)
slowly entering the world of leftist extreme politics (I need to know that even if its not in my lifetime there will be chance for a revolution)
schooling baby girl and watching her become smarter and so sure of her own self
(so proud even if it means she has recently chosen a more religious stance)
schooling myself, because right now college isn’t possible but I can still further my knowledge
coming into my sexual identity and preference
drinking too much and befriending the girls my ex boyfriend of the past but now current roommate sleeps with (so weird to discover you have the same taste in women)
too much adderol, keeping myself calm.
smoking weed, typing, occupying.
chamomile tea, and runny noses.
deep breaths and texts.
i want to be alive
i feel something i havent felt ever for the future
deep breaths and chamomile tea
for the first time in years, i’m glad to be alive.
glad to be alive. ok with my brand new jbeibz wannabe haircut. it’s not the worst haircut disaster i’ve had. okay with my lackage of boobs. it’s proof of all the weight i’ve lost and my ass is curvier than ever. hello cute underwear. and curvy curves, hourglass shape its been since, oh hai maybe never, glad to meet you, you suit me well.
now i have a headache. smoke weed.
yup.